“Why am I doing this?” I ask myself repeatedly every day. “What is the ‘why’ that drives me forward and provides the meaning for the ‘things’ I’m doing like racing Silverman in November?”

I can’t answer the “Why?” question with a solid answer right now.

Because I can’t answer the question, I don’t have a compelling reason to race Silverman.

When I reflect back to watching Chesapeakeman and being inspired to race again, it was not so much watching Brady win but the feeling of total commitment that I observed Brady to be experiencing, which I crave to experience again. Irregardless of whether he finished first or second, he was in a state of flow. I hit that “state of flow” racing at both the Quelle Challenge and Vineman this year but not at Ironman Louisville.

Photo: David in a state of “flow” at the Quelle Challenge in Roth, Germany

Physically, I’m fine although I still have some deep fatigue from the stress from the last few months. True, I could still complete the event without a doubt in my mind, but completing another Ironman is not a good enough reason for me with 24 Ironman finishes under my belt. During Ironman Louisville, I distinctly remember thinking to myself at about mile 30 on the bike that I don’t want to do this (race an Ironman triathlon) again this year.

At the core, my desire and my motivation are not in the right place right now in order for me to be successful (by my definition) at Silverman. If I continue to push forward with structure training towards the race without real conviction, then I risk impacting my drive and ultimately my performance next year. I need to be “on my game” next year as I plan to build on this year’s results with even better results.

For now, I believe the best thing for me to do is to decompress for a few months by exercising for fun instead of focus and spending more time with my dog, my family and my friends.

In the meantime, I do need to find another challenge. I am leaning towards moving to Stowe, VT during January and February in order to cross-country ski (a lot) and then return to the two day Canadian Ski Marathon - I attempted the Canadian Ski Marathon in 2006 but could only complete the first day - a very humbling DNF.

Photo: XC skiing trail in Vermont

Cheers,

David

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David B. Glover
Experiential Writer, Elite Athlete, Coach and Race Director
Author of Full Time and Sub-Nine
Personal Web: www.davidglover.net
Business Web: www.enduranceworks.net

©2007 David B. Glover